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View Full Version : ....Chat up lines....


Sim0n
09-07-2002, 20:17
Apologies if this has been posted before, but I got this the other day & thought it was excellent.
Can anyone add to this????

1. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

2. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of those wet clothes.

3. Nice legs... What time do they open?

4. Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the Only one talking to you.

8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

10. Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me.

11. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

12. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

13. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

14. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even further for that thing you do with your tongue.

15. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

16. (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to suck itself.

17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

18. You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?

19 . Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

20. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

21 . Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

22. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

23. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

24. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

25. Do you wash your pants in Mr Sheen because I can see myself in them?

Blonde_Tim
09-07-2002, 21:01
lol, very funny!!

not strictly chat up lines but similiar:

1. Boy: how do u like ur eggs in the morning?
girl: unfertilised

2. boy: is the seat next to u free?
girl: yes and so will this one if u sit down

3. boy: i'd go to the end of the world for you.
girl: then can u please stay there.

4.boy haven't i seen you somewhere before?
girl: yeah, thats why i don't go there any more

5. boy: how did god make you so beautiful?
girl: because he gave me your share.


TIM

scaley
02-08-2002, 08:07
here we are ...found them

Garth
02-08-2002, 08:56
LOL, whoops deleted the other one! /forum/images/icons/wink.gif

My all time winner ..................and my personal, never failed favourite is:

Is that a mirror in you pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!

scaley
02-08-2002, 09:05
So you like to wear womens knickers then Garth /forum/images/icons/wink.gif
I find G-strings a bit of a problem....chafe me a bit.....

fishydave
02-08-2002, 09:14
Not so sure about fishing that night now Leon!!!! lol lol lol

scaley
02-08-2002, 09:18
Oh.....go on sweety,and wear your Fishnets...../forum/images/icons/wink.gif/forum/images/icons/tongue.gif

fishydave
02-08-2002, 09:21
oh suits you sir!!

Garth
02-08-2002, 09:30
LOL, nice one, got me there!

allibee
02-08-2002, 14:29
The worse line ever delivered to me was:

I hear there's a party in your pants, and I'm coming!

Allison

Hippy
02-08-2002, 15:59
Some repeats here, but some are new

>I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
>
>Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
>
>Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
>
>I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
>
>Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?
>
>Are those real?
>
>I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that
>thing you do with your tongue.
>
>If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
>
>You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
>
>You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
>
>F @# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
>
>Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
>
>My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
>
>Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
>
>Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
>
>Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
>
>I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
>
>If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth,I bet we could
>do
>it in public.
>
>Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No?
>Why, don't you like pizza?
>
>Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

Johnny_Carp
20-08-2002, 13:07
My soft spot for you has just gone hard! /forum/images/icons/wink.gif

JC

Carpchasser
20-08-2002, 13:31
Fancy a shag love ?

No !!

Well do you mind laying down while i have one.

Cash
20-08-2002, 13:37
Nice legs.........what time do they open?
Cash

Lewis
20-08-2002, 13:38
Cashie!!!!!

You used that one on Stavros at the weekend - and it worked!!!!!! lol

/forum/images/icons/wink.gif

Klewless

Garth
20-08-2002, 14:02
Alison, I only said it as a joke - honest LOL

Bovis
20-08-2002, 15:07
similar to one above:

Well F*ck me if I'm wrong but aint I seen you in hear before.....?
:-p

allibee
20-08-2002, 16:06
I know Garth........but it still worked, LOL, LOL, /forum/images/icons/wink.gif

mozzer
14-08-2003, 15:27
Do you drive,yes-park your [censored] on this then love
do you like jewellry-suck on this its a gem
Heres ten pence,phone you mum,you aint coming home!

RAFLEE
14-08-2003, 15:37
best one i have ever heard from a friend of mine was

"Fancy a F**k" i kid you not, most times he would get a slap around the face, but just so often he'd strike lucky, the way he saw it was he couldn't be bothered with the messing around of chatting a girl up he just wanted the goods and as he said himself im playing the percentages game and if i get a **** at the end of the night im happy, he just used to go from girl to girl, it used to make me laugh so much, but he was laughing at the end of the night when he'd left early and was on the job !!!! ...true story...

MattPilky
14-08-2003, 15:46
http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif
do you like chicken? suck this it's foul.... http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Big fat polar bear..... ( what it takes to break the ice...) http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

hmm wonder why I'm single??!!! *LOL* http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

or you don't sweat much for a fat lass... http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

mozzer
14-08-2003, 15:49
I kid you not raf,thats worked for me m8!!!

RAFLEE
14-08-2003, 15:51
worked for me all the time, i mean worked for my mate all the time... http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Jamie
15-08-2003, 08:49
My favourite is - 'I might not be Fred Flintstone but I'm sure I could make your Bedrock'

Has worked a treat a couple of times http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Karen
18-08-2003, 22:11
See this face, well it's leaving in 10 min's, how would you like to be on it. http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Still can't work out what he ment http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Phil_Appleby
19-08-2003, 09:47
http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

DeanOr
25-08-2003, 10:26
Are you Jamaican??
No
Coz your J'making me crazy??

Did you create Kellogs frosties secret formula??
No
Coz your grrrrrrreaaaat

I will get my coat http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Phil_Appleby
26-08-2003, 10:12
Awful! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Slyder
26-08-2003, 11:23
Guy - "Is your name spanner?"
Gal - "No, why?"
Guy - "Cos you make my nuts go tight"


"How d'ya fancy spending the weekend sitting on my boat?" - note for those not conversant with ****ney rhyming slang - boat = boat race = face http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Or, as a mate did a few years back - see girl, ask girl to dance, midway thru dance say "I s'pose you wanna see what you're getting later", extract old chap from trousers and hold for approval like a waiter might offer a champagne label. It worked too, the git!

Bream_Boy
27-08-2003, 12:54
Iv just got back from Reading Festival, and perfected the ultimate chat up line. When I was standing in the crowd there was a really fit girl who couldnt see so i picked her up n put her on my shoulders. When she got round I said

Do you always wrap your legs around a bloke befor you know his name?

Corny, but it worked. One prob it only works on short people in crowded areas.

allibee
27-08-2003, 12:56
How any of you ever get a date ... or anything else .... is beyond me http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

fishydave
27-08-2003, 12:57
How does Ian do it Ali? http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

allibee
27-08-2003, 13:00
With STYLE .... mmmmmmmmmmmmm http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

fishydave
27-08-2003, 13:09
He sounds like a bit of a smooth operator to me? http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

allibee
27-08-2003, 13:12
More like Led Zeppelin than Sade, Dave http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

fishydave
27-08-2003, 13:20
sounds like trouble to me http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/ooo.gif

allibee
27-08-2003, 13:23
LOL ... do you know something I don't???

fishydave
27-08-2003, 13:24
about the guv? Nahhh he's a nice enough fella i think!!

allibee
27-08-2003, 13:32
LOL http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif