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Billyo
11-04-2005, 09:35
/images/comp/April05_caption_pic.jpg
Please find photo for April 2005 caption contest. RMC's Assistant Angling Manager, Mike Hutchison, gives his best Mel Gibson/Braveheart pose.

Best caption wins some Bankside Tackle (http://www.BanksideTackle.com) bait products.

Closing date is: 30 April 2005.

Bill.

singy
11-04-2005, 09:48
A quick look up Mike's kilt confirmed he was indeed 100% ginger.

singy
11-04-2005, 09:49
A favorite emerged in the latest round of auditions for the new Supergran movie.

MattPilky
11-04-2005, 10:14
By wearing a rediculous hat Mike hoped no one would notice his bonnie langford hair do.

apples
11-04-2005, 10:15
I am Harold Bishop, and before me, I see a whole ARMY of my Horton memebers here to battle the Car Park boys. Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take... OUR LODGE!
[Horton syndicate cheers]

MattPilky
11-04-2005, 10:32
Rumours were rife that there was a double agent at the ECHO st georges day party..
Chilly couldn't be sure who out of Dave, Hippy, Mike McHutchinson and Del it was but he was sure they'd slip up sometime or other...

singy
11-04-2005, 10:35
Unfortunately for Ian, Mike's interpretation of to55 the caber resulted in a quick dash to casualty.

DeanOr
11-04-2005, 11:23
William Wallace was in bad shape he knew he had to do something about it with a wry grin off he was to the gym

Mark1chuck
11-04-2005, 11:40
ChrisW finally gets a Horton ticket.

MattPilky
11-04-2005, 11:56
Everybody was surprised when the promised celebrity syndicate member turned out to be Michelle McManus... http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Mark1chuck
11-04-2005, 12:11
Don't matter how ugly these Scottish anglers are, they're still far prettier than the women from Bolton.

And the Scotch anglers have less facial hair!

miller
11-04-2005, 12:26
"Who at all the Haggis" ?

MattPilky
11-04-2005, 12:30
Mark1Chuck and Pilky argued over everything.. however on this occasion Pilky abstained on Mark's challenge of 'who could pull the scottish bird first'

singy
11-04-2005, 12:55
Operating on a tight budget, RMC once again dissapointed the gathered anglers when Miss Strathclyde 2005 emerged to open the new portaloo.

Mark1chuck
11-04-2005, 12:57
The arguement raged, was MattPikies new bird male or female? It's so hard to tell when they come from Bolt'un.

missing_frimley
11-04-2005, 13:24
Anne Robinson's quirky hat did'nt disguise the dissappointment she felt for her latest facelift.

MattPilky
11-04-2005, 14:11
Mike's scream of ' FANDABBYDOZEY!! ' after his latest horton capture confirmed that in fact he was the secret Krankies love child...

Lewis
11-04-2005, 14:24
We found Droopy - now where's deputy Dawg......

Lewis
11-04-2005, 14:25
'I am Harrold McBishop of the clan McBishop......' http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Lewis
11-04-2005, 14:30
Unfortunately the eldest brother (and least attractive) of the Scottish super group 'The Proclaimers' had found his solo singing career in tatters and could be found with a bottle of meths and a ladies thong on walking around the Horton complex looking for virile young studs to service his increasingly disturbed sexual requirements.....

Lewis
11-04-2005, 14:31
That red bump isnt a bobble - its a craniel hernia from all teh sh#t going around in my mind....

Lewis
11-04-2005, 14:35
It was a week disguise but Michel was desperate to avoid the humiliation of a crushing defeat at the hands of Lewis in the forthcoming numtython spectacular... http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Thegingerone
11-04-2005, 14:50
Mike was pleased to host this years ginger's only numptython.

singy
11-04-2005, 14:58
After the nurse, the school girl and the dominatrix outfits had faled, Mike had one more trick up his sleeve to impress Lewis

Jimmy6bellies
11-04-2005, 15:00
aka Fat B@stard from Austin Powers....

"Look at my SEXY body"......

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Lewis
11-04-2005, 15:00
The last part of the gender transformation was now complete - and Michel Mchuchinson was sure she was ready to go to the lodge to host the Horton Trans-gender 2005 bueaty pagent......

Lewis
11-04-2005, 15:03
International Super Slueth Mikeal Gobbyslov was sent in by the KGB to see how RMC where going to stock their waters with the latest batch top secret irradiated carp from the Chernobyll power station cooling ponds....

Mark1chuck
11-04-2005, 15:08
I think Lewis is obsessed.

Lewis
11-04-2005, 15:14
Quazi Micheal had escaped 'the bells' of the Horton Cathedral but was now his heart couldnt escape the shackles of Iansmarelda ...... http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Mark1chuck
11-04-2005, 15:15
Obessed with fat ginger blokes http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Watch out ChrisW !

Lewis
11-04-2005, 15:19
If only the NHS had discovered all of teh horrifying side effects of a mammalian MBM diet prior to BSE!!!!!

Lewis
11-04-2005, 15:22
So thats what father christmas did when he was incomunicado.....

DeanOr
11-04-2005, 15:23
The RMC lads rib taking was relelenting almost lord of the flies like

Kill Piggy Kill

Oops got carried away http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Lewis
11-04-2005, 15:23
At last - a picture of the mythical Islands Lake Beast!!!!

Tadpolepat
11-04-2005, 15:25
With a turd planted firmly in his colon, Mike now had two Lodgers to think about.

MattPilky
11-04-2005, 15:26
Mike was pleased as punch when he became a member of the secret carp anglers masonic community and holder of the sacred red pop up

singy
11-04-2005, 15:27
With Lewis lurking, Mike was about to feel more than a draft up his kilt

MattPilky
11-04-2005, 15:31
lewis blew hard on his thistle whistle http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif and mcmanuss ness emerged from the deep...

Lewis
11-04-2005, 15:31
Note from HMP Broadmoor:

'If you see this distressing looking individual walking around your area please contact the local constabulary immediatly - do not confront under any circumstances - because Hamish McWebtoes is believed to be implicated in a series of gruesome crimes related to tree hacking and making at least 1 good for nothing Spasholt student do something (for a change!)'

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

CARPINITREEL
11-04-2005, 16:37
Blimey! Russ Abbots not the man he was! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

CARPINITREEL
11-04-2005, 21:02
Address To The Haggis.



Mark came from loch ness, a Scottish place,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-face!
But aside the lake his rod aquiver
His legs astride like open scissor
Head up his kilt was Jim McTavish
Having a nibble around his haggis!

Robert Burns 1786

CARPINITREEL
11-04-2005, 21:06
Ach ay de noo - no sign of Charles and Camilla at Balmoral

This is Mike McHutchinson reporting for the Scottish Evening News

CARPINITREEL
11-04-2005, 21:18
Steve Irwin the Australian Crocodile Hunter dons Scottish attire in his quest to wrestle with Nessie the Loch Ness Monster.....will he succeed watch this space....

CARPINITREEL
11-04-2005, 21:21
Mike Hutchinson shows off his new face after his total transformation on the Scottish version of 10 years younger....

CARPINITREEL
11-04-2005, 21:23
Michael, Where's Your Trousers?

I just got in frae the Isle of Skye
I'm not very big and I'm awfully shy
The ladies shout as I go by
"Michael where's your trousers?"

dicky
11-04-2005, 22:38
and my favorite is , baby bye bye baby goodbye baby baby bye bye

Mike_H
12-04-2005, 11:53
Just back form the highland games, Mike was ready for the battering of Lewis Weed in the next McNumptython. http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Mike_H
12-04-2005, 11:56
To all ECHO members, prepare for THE battle of your lives. The biggest import is heading for Church Lake.

LOCH NESS MONSTER IS ON ITS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Lewis
12-04-2005, 13:23
Mike also sported a fetching ginger body hair wig because a RMC colluegue said that this would have broader cross sex appeal http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Lewis
12-04-2005, 15:47
Gary Glitter was sure no one would recognise him in such a redically different industry from the 'music scene' .... especially with his 'special' fat jock disguise.......

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

(that one actually made me laugh whilst typing it!!!!!)

Lewis
12-04-2005, 15:51
Since Big Daddy had remorslesly beaten him in the ring (ooh err) Giant Haystacks had taken semi retirement to attempt a shave and to heroically defend the honour of the Gayest fishery in England!!!! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

miller
12-04-2005, 15:56
Having just finished tossing the caber, Mike Haggis turned his attention to Lewis http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Mike_H
12-04-2005, 16:02
Jock! Coming to a lake near Lewis SOON! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Lewis
12-04-2005, 16:04
Mmmmmm - if it sounds like a bite - and looks like a bite - it must have been a bite......... see i dont even need to call you Harrold now!!!!!

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

give me a minute i'll come up with another diamond!!!!!

MattPilky
12-04-2005, 16:07
Choose Life. Choose RMC. Choose a water. Choose a baitcompany. Choose a [censored] big bivvy, choose pop ups, hooks, swivels and electrical fish finders. Choose good base mix, low oil, and tackle insurance. Choose semi fixed safety rigs. Choose a furry suit. Choose your friends. Choose bedchairs and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece stalking rod on hire purchase in a range of realtree. Choose being single jobless and wondering who the [censored] you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting in the lodge watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing fishing shows, stuffing other peoples junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a realtree bucket, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, [censored] up punishers you spawned to catch more than yourself.

Choose your future.

Choose Horton.
http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Lewis
12-04-2005, 16:07
Campbell McCrunchy still winced from the deep burrowing excavation that Dr McColonic had carried out to detoxify the ageing alcoholics lower intestine....

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Mike_H
12-04-2005, 16:19
Mike's new disguise was obviously still not working, as stalker Lewis would still stalk him in the hopes of finding out his true loves address "Mr Shelley". http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

miller
13-04-2005, 10:37
Groundskeeper Willie was hot on the trail of Millhouse !!

Lewis
13-04-2005, 10:40
The popped up red boilie on the 'Jockernoster' rig was bound to be a sure fire winner with Horton carps! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Lewis
13-04-2005, 10:46
Gay Icon Mikey McHuge-[censored] took 5 minutes to meditate ready for another marathon lubed-up love-in at the Horton Cottage!!!! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

MattPilky
13-04-2005, 11:05
By day Mike is a mild mannered fishery boffin but at weekends he parades the clubs as his alter ego..... Minnie the Minx

singy
13-04-2005, 11:28
Mike the dislexic scotsman was hospitalised after placing his loose change in his scrotum and waxing his sporren

Lewis
13-04-2005, 13:48
I believe the line in 'Return of the Jedi' when Luke confronted Jaba the Hut was....... 'Ah - your powers do not work on me young Jedi.... Ho ho ho....'

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

thicky
13-04-2005, 14:43
"I dont need a biviy like you big boys,i just kip in the girlie lodge"

Lewis
13-04-2005, 15:57
After the sad demise of Pope John Paul II - The first scottish Pope - Pope Hamish McSpewtum had already instigated wide sweeping reforms to the headwear he was expected to wear for ceremonies and meetings with internations Heads of State and visiting dignatory's....

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Mike_H
13-04-2005, 16:11
Mike felt more at home looking like the rest of the noddies,












On the Car Park Lake http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Lewis
13-04-2005, 16:26
Gregariously perched upon the pointed end of an upturned caber - the 'relatively new' Mikey McHutchinson peered across his empire satisfied that after such an act of selfless masochism - he could keep the local cod catchers in line for the rest of the year....... but is that the facial expession of pain or pleasure? http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

stomp
13-04-2005, 21:52
right boys, who,s for hop (scotch!!)

MattPilky
14-04-2005, 10:54
Drink had taken it's toll on Grounds Keeper Willie ever since leaving the Simpsons, ' ahhh yer set ahh englishhh bassards yuuu'll payyy! ' he warbled upon finding two bankstick holes in his beloved Horton lawn..

Lewis
14-04-2005, 12:19
....and as the contestents awaited the results for the the triple chin synchronised wobbling championships 2005 - the main contender Mikey McFlatulant winced as he had trouble containing his famously bountiful gasious erruptions.....

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

singy
14-04-2005, 13:06
After seeing the new range of Doctor Who 'baddies' the cry to bring back the cyber men was stronger than ever

Crispy
14-04-2005, 13:14
No matter how hard he tried, Mike just couldn't disguise himself enough to not look like Jim Shelley.

Lewis
14-04-2005, 13:33
I posted this on <font color="pink"> men4men.com</font color> and asked if the board users could rate Mikey McBishop on a scale of attractiveness between 1 to 10......

Got an emphatic 2 out of 10........ http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

I reckon you got your mum to up the vote for you big fella http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

missing_frimley
14-04-2005, 17:20
By creating a March caption competition involving a photo of Lewis, Billyo finally found a way to keep Lewis's daft, nonsensical ramblings off one section of the rmc website. Unfortunately, his attempts at doing the same with Mike H in April failed dismally.

Lewis
14-04-2005, 17:31
http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Nice post.....

and a degree of truth!!!! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

tinytim
14-04-2005, 18:15
im not having it its strawberry blonde im telling you http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

TheCarpHugger
15-04-2005, 00:35
OK guys thats it for the photo's , Can i have my Bloodworms now ?

Lewis
15-04-2005, 10:12
Meet the 'previously unknown' member of the super successfull teletubbies... McDropsy..... sacked 2 weeks after the start of the first series when he nutted the producer and smacked La La round the head with a recently emptied Glennfiddich bottle!!!! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Lewis
15-04-2005, 10:19
Sex changed ex-anorexic Dierdre McNobreasts had found solice in joining a team of weirdo's of equal magnitude..... where she finally felt accepted despite her abject deviancy.... LOL

allibee
15-04-2005, 10:31
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Meet the 'previously unknown' member of the super successfull teletubbies... McDropsy..... sacked 2 weeks after the start of the first series when he nutted the producer and smacked La La round the head with a recently emptied Glennfiddich bottle!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

roflmao

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

allibee
15-04-2005, 10:33
Nessie lives...

Lewis
15-04-2005, 10:45
Margery Dawes comedy career had taken a catastrophic nose dive and she could no longer afford the bulk orders of imac or bic razers necessary to keep her rampant facial hair problem in check anymore......

Mark1chuck
15-04-2005, 10:49
At Last !
Someone has found one of Lewis's posts funny!

Lewis
15-04-2005, 10:50
A face only 'its' mother could love........

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Lewis
15-04-2005, 10:52
LOL

I was gonna post a thanks myself tooo! Cheeky Monki Mark..... http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Cheers Ali - i feel loved again now!!! (all i need now is Ian to love me tooo and i will feel complete!) http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

1 out of 9046 aint bad!!!! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Lewis
15-04-2005, 11:18
Is it Halloween already........ be afraid...be very afraid....

Lewis
15-04-2005, 11:18
.....they come out at night.....mostly......

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Lewis
15-04-2005, 11:24
Harry's Scottish cousin!!!!

www.tvacres.com/images/bigfoot_harry.jpg (http://www.tvacres.com/images/bigfoot_harry.jpg)

LOL

I love this months caption competition.... if only i had this enthusiam for work!!!!

Medway
15-04-2005, 13:14
Yet more Syndicate eyebrows were raised when another of Mike's Scotish relatives recieved a 'complimentary' Horton ticket.

Lewis
15-04-2005, 13:37
Mikes obvious state of confusion had arisen after he woke up the morning after the HB Numtython with no recollection of the previous evenings events and an empty bottle of rohypnol on his pillo http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Lewis
15-04-2005, 14:38
What do you mean i forgot to put my trousers on....... I havnt been able to see past my belly (without a mirror) in 28 years!! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Mark1chuck
15-04-2005, 15:35
Cilla Black hosts another series of Suprise Suprise and stuns Jim Shelley as she introduces him to his long lost half brother on the banks of Horton.

darrengeorge
15-04-2005, 15:53
Tartan: the new realtree

Lewis
15-04-2005, 15:55
So thats where cherry Topper flavour came from......

Lewis
15-04-2005, 15:58
Having brought peace to the Gorbels - Mike decided to bring his special brand of commando style kilted justice to a really rough area..... the Boat pool bank

robwilliam
17-04-2005, 21:48
GINGER "lets fight the disease together"!

Nathan
17-04-2005, 23:07
The Aberdeen Angus disguised himself as a Gay Gordon but unforunately still managed to get spit roasted!!

miller
18-04-2005, 10:59
Mike's audition for the Bay City Rollers tribute band didn't go according to plan.
The groups manager was heard to say: "I can imagine hordes of young girls screaming at him. Unfortunately in his case it would be through horror, not through adoration".

Nathan
18-04-2005, 19:11
It's no wonder Hadrian built a wall!

foxey
19-04-2005, 10:26
alternative uses for a carp sack, you can wear it on your head...........

Lewis
19-04-2005, 15:29
After failing the Ronald McDonald advert auditions - geriatric scottish singing sensation Donald McSquarker looked at the producers with a glare that said -' i'll sleep with you for the job m8.'.........

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Lewis
21-04-2005, 10:16
Ginger rastafarian - Mike Marley Huchsensee - had given up all the trappings of his prosperous Glaswegian upbringing... to live in a caravan next to the glorious carp farm where eventually a new strain of carp/cod would be developed to feed his ginger rasta brothers and sisters across the world http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Lewis
21-04-2005, 16:58
The mumps had caused terrible facial disfigurement to Cashie McFarnan....

allibee
22-04-2005, 18:52
Lewis finally realised that if you want to get ahead - get a hat

Joephus
22-04-2005, 22:33
The beauty of the Loch was some what of a let down!

who_dares_wins
24-04-2005, 00:18
Right here we go.........

This Scotish Shimano Tribal hat isn't what i had in mind.

dolly
24-04-2005, 06:27
freedommm.........! mike was indeed ready to roll in the annual horton scottish catchathon..

dolly
24-04-2005, 06:30
the new breed of wee scottish fish at horton fish farm were causing alarm by there... massive growth rates and un-natural growth behind the gills..

MattPilky
25-04-2005, 11:08
After dressing up as Minnie the Minx Mike realised that he had got the wrong idea when he'd heard that Horton was always in 'the comics'.

Lewis
27-04-2005, 13:45
Having lost a fish in VERY dubious circumstances on Pit 3 at Frimley - Top scottish sea angler - Mickey McSplodge decided to return to his beloved cod fishing on Lock Horton..... home of british pastie fishing http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Lewis
27-04-2005, 14:03
singing....

If you gooooooo, will you send me - a letter from America.........'

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

miller
27-04-2005, 14:05
Post deleted by miller

miller
27-04-2005, 14:09
Cor.....that Bonnie Langford's let herself go !!

whopper666
28-04-2005, 00:27
2006 tribal look

look out for the latest reviews coming yr way

The best camo money can buy

Mike_H
28-04-2005, 10:21
yep! Just right behind me was where I seen Nessie just swimming along. Yes I know the photo's look a bit foggy and blurred but if you look hard enough, you will just make her out!

Lewis
28-04-2005, 12:48
Those Scottish shrooms are strong stuff!!!! Look what they did to this unfortunate user!

Mick barnes
28-04-2005, 15:32
Mike Mcplop arrived back from his holiday looking revived and ready for work