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View Full Version : January 2005 Caption Contest


Billyo
04-01-2005, 23:07
/images/comp/0105_caption_photo.jpgPlease find the caption photograph for January 2005 here.

Just what is RMC Angling boss, Ian Welch, upto with this carp?

Best caption wins a Bankside Tackle ('http://www.banksidetackle.com') Bait Voucher.

Closing date is 31st January 2005.

Bill.

dicky
04-01-2005, 23:26
i thought only chub liked cheese http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

mark2002
04-01-2005, 23:29
o dear o dear dont think i dear put it in ptrint http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Joephus
05-01-2005, 01:33
Although carp shaped the bomb still had to be handled with care.

Joephus
05-01-2005, 01:56
The idea to smuggle fish was one thing. Trying to smuggle them in his pants was a whole different ball game. http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Joephus
05-01-2005, 01:57
Ian had missed the idea of 'sacking' fish.

cornishbob1
05-01-2005, 04:08
" I watched it sucking and blowing for ages, until finally my rod hooped over" http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

cornishbob1
05-01-2005, 04:18
" Fish sexing, it's a piece of pi55, for a man like me !!! " http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

cornishbob1
05-01-2005, 04:44
A Hardy rod, pin loaded with goss'amer and a fat white gozzer !! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

singy
05-01-2005, 09:32
The defending champion finally got the 12th anual cyprinid tea bagging finals under way

singy
05-01-2005, 09:34
After one final push, Ian was left with the task of cutting the unbilical

singy
05-01-2005, 09:36
Billy was fuming, The Dutch import video he had just purchased was not quite what he was hoping for.

BreamKing
05-01-2005, 10:05
Whilst pondering his latest carp transportation issue, Ian attempts the Niblet smuggling method

MattPilky
05-01-2005, 10:07
Viv left after disagreement with Ian's new RMC breeding programme..

singy
05-01-2005, 10:07
"Here's £10, go and buy yourself something pretty" Ian said as he lit a cigarette

MattPilky
05-01-2005, 10:15
Ian didn't believe the female pheremone theory until he tried to dispell it by wearing a pair of the girlfriends knickers and wandering round the pond...

MattPilky
05-01-2005, 10:17
Ian:
pass me another this one's full...

Mike_H
05-01-2005, 10:42
Come on Misses Carp, get them cheesey balls inside you!

DeanOr
05-01-2005, 10:49
Ian trys to dismiss the theory that carp are a bit partial to salt in their diet

Cooperman
05-01-2005, 12:18
During the photoshoot, the carps spots what he thinks are 2 x 10mm boilies.........

BreamKing
05-01-2005, 12:24
Ian proves that no carp can resist his 'dynamite stick' http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/blush.gif

singy
05-01-2005, 12:31
Ian recieved an imediate ban for using nuts on the Pads lake

Mike_H
05-01-2005, 14:03
Mr Carp hungry for more says "I am sure I saw one more maggot down here?"

Mike_H
05-01-2005, 14:04
The camera shy carp couldn't handle the thought of being on the front pages of the angling times!

Chris63
05-01-2005, 14:24
Doesn't talk!, doesn't argue back!, always wet!, snug fitting orrifice! - at long last I've found one I might be able to stay faithful to http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

simon_cat
05-01-2005, 18:50
Ian soon discovered that the Australian carp he had just bought seemed to have a very poor sense of direction.

Mick barnes
05-01-2005, 19:29
And Ian thought that Ali was the slippery one http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

mozzer
05-01-2005, 20:32
someone show ian what a cod piece is!!(WORD UP)!!

marshallcrp
05-01-2005, 20:41
i cant go to casualty like this just find me some soap

dicky
05-01-2005, 20:48
animal farm two

steve_howard
05-01-2005, 22:11
"can somebody get a bucket of water please?"

steve_howard
05-01-2005, 22:17
Ian knows that when he adminsters the 'saline solution' his little friend will feel much better!

steve_howard
05-01-2005, 22:22
"get this little pr1ck off me"


...sez the carp! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

allibee
06-01-2005, 03:46
http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Smarts
06-01-2005, 13:25
Aussie carp always wanted to 'go down under'....

marky_markw
06-01-2005, 14:09
See, if you handle them nicely, They will do ANYTHING for you...

mistral_man
06-01-2005, 15:15
i tried using a fishing rod and caught nothing, but look what i got when i used my other rod!

allibee
06-01-2005, 15:31
Another falls victim to the bloodworm....

Crispy
06-01-2005, 16:37
Having responded to the spam e-mail regarding penis enlargement, Ian was glad he did!

Crispy
06-01-2005, 16:38
Proud? Well he certainly wasn't Koi!

Crispy
06-01-2005, 16:39
Ian totally misunderstood the "your in-put" section of the RMC website.

Tjw
06-01-2005, 19:46
Carp will do anything for the taste of Dairy-Lee

Tjw
06-01-2005, 19:49
After a difficult Tail first labour, Ian was the proud father of a low double.

steve_howard
06-01-2005, 21:53
"yup, my 'boilie gauge' is working just fine... you can put him in the main lake now, it's ready to accept 12mm boilies!" http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

cheshirecarper
07-01-2005, 08:58
"is that a double hookbait in your pocket? or you just pleased to see me?? http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif said the low double!!

cheshirecarper
07-01-2005, 09:19
"sung to the tune of The Chef "chocolate Salty Balls" (thanks to a certain website for "lending me the words" http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif )

RMC PROUDLY PRESENT

" THE CHIEF - and Cocolate Fishy Boilies"

Two half pound bags of basemix and two or three large eggs
A half a stick of belachan... grated
Stick it all in a bowl baby, stir it with a wooden spoon
Mix in a cup of flavours, you'll be in heaven soon

Say everybody have you seen my boiliess
Theyre big and fishy and brown
If you ever need a quick pick me up
Just stick my balls in your mouth

Ooh, suck on my chocolate fishy boilies
Stick em in your mouth, and suck em
Suck on my chocolate fishy boilies
They?e packed full of vitamins and good for you
So suck on my balls

Quarter cup of n-butyric acid and a half a cup of nod oil
Then throw in a bag or two of pellets and just a pinch of GLM
clean up the drying tray cause I hate when my boilies stick
Then turn on the hob to full power.. and give that spoon a lick

Say everybody have you seen my boilies
Theyre big and fishy and brown
If you ever need a quick pick me up
Just stick my boilies in your mouth

Suck on my chocolate fishy boiliess (suck em now)
Put'em in your mouth, and suck'em
Suck on my chocolate fishy balls
They're packed full of goodness, high in nutrients
Suck on my boilies

Hey, wait a minute, what? that smell
Smell like something burning
Well, just dont confront me now
Long as I get my dayticket money paid on Friday
Alli you better get back in the kitchen
cause I got a sneaking suspicion
Oh man baby, baby, you just burned my boilies!
Come, my boilies on fire
Have mercy baby, my boilies are burning
Give me some water, pour some water on them
My boilies are burning, oh my goodness
Im blowin Im blowin them, do something
Ooh, suck on my chocolate fishy boilies (suck em now)
Put em in your mouth and suck em, theyee on fire baby
Suck on my chocolate fishy boilies (suck em now)
Put'em out baby, blow'em
Oh, suck on my boilies baby, suck on my boilies baby
Suck on my red hot fishy chocolate boilies
Come on baby, ooo, ooo, suck on my boilies

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

DeanOr
07-01-2005, 11:36
LOL Chesh

Ian decides to take one for the team in aid of research

Dell_Boy
07-01-2005, 15:28
Here's a preview of my next feature where I'll demonstrate my way of unhooking a carp when I've forgotten the forceps!

mistral_man
08-01-2005, 12:27
After deciding ultrabite was a waste of of money ian decided to try some of his own 'mix'

steve_howard
08-01-2005, 13:07
"That's it... your turn now!"

baitbuff
09-01-2005, 22:24
"Nobody realised the full implications of RMC annoucing that all fish breeding would be conducted in house !"

R_Y_A_N
09-01-2005, 22:49
Doesn't matter how hard i strum i still can't get a tune out of the thing

davesg
10-01-2005, 19:32
Carp to GP - "well it thstarted off as just a mouth ulther." http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

lippy
10-01-2005, 20:18
i wish the wife was so keen on going down on me!

allibee
10-01-2005, 21:54
"It came off in my hand Officer ...."

barrowman
10-01-2005, 23:08
No, it's your thumb you put in to keep them quiet....

steve_howard
11-01-2005, 06:34
So anyway, I said to this bloke "yeah right, if you're a Genie then my C0cKs a kippa"

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

allan
11-01-2005, 11:48
See i told you they were slippery suckers.

miller
11-01-2005, 11:52
When Ian proclaimed he'd been poking Gill, nobody understood the implications......until now !!

Smarts
11-01-2005, 11:54
Proof that Ian's maggot pre-baiting campaign had really paid off...

mark2002
11-01-2005, 20:09
lets all have a whip round and get ian a real woman instead of such substitutes

Smarts
12-01-2005, 12:32
Sexing the carp at Horton was easy.....just show 'em your wallet

BuggedByTench
12-01-2005, 13:42
"And who said fishing was a cruel sport? As you can see from the photo, the RMC Angling manager clearly loves his sport."

http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Joephus
12-01-2005, 16:01
'Breeding fish' and 'Breeding with fish' a sutle difference but one that had caught Ian out on more than one occasion.

BuggedByTench
12-01-2005, 17:31
Ian Welsh re-inacts a scene from the Warped Porn Classic, Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs.

"Mirror, Mirror on my B***'s, Who's Got The Biggest Rod of All ! Me or Viv?" http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Tjw
12-01-2005, 22:55
...and in this weeks Anglers Mail...

RMCs Ian Welch unveils his new 'prince albert' pop up rig.

FTFC
12-01-2005, 23:18
You can keep trying all the different baits there are but when it comes to the crunch you just cant beat a single white maggot

carpbum
12-01-2005, 23:27
Ians a slippery little sucker," i hope his guest had a fishing permit" .

carpbum
12-01-2005, 23:33
THERES A KNACK TO USEING ONE OF THESE

allan
13-01-2005, 00:44
Little boy.........."is that a flatfish Mr. Welch?"

Mr. Welch........"No sonny, its a carp "

Little boy.........."then why are you pumping it up?"

miller
13-01-2005, 10:32
Having spent so long catching nuisance species, Ian struggled to lift a proper specimen http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Smarts
13-01-2005, 13:03
'Catching' carp proved rather tricky after all...but not impossible....

steve_howard
13-01-2005, 15:29
When Ian claimed to have been 'having a few on the pole'.. he really wasn't joking!

Paul_Scowen
13-01-2005, 23:24
Next week in AM Ian Welch explains carp tickling!

Joephus
14-01-2005, 17:31
So carp really are easier down south.

Mick barnes
14-01-2005, 19:55
Ian "yeah thats right it from Essex, how did you know?" http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

cheshirecarper
14-01-2005, 20:44
Ians new mini stalking rod was all that was needed to stalk the blighters from thorpe lea ! even the mystery rig used was yet to feature in an Anglers Mail article http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smile.gif

cheshirecarper
14-01-2005, 20:45
Enterprise tackle will never get a maggot as real looking as mine http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

CARPINITREEL
16-01-2005, 12:09
Typical of Ian to catch the only Carp who thinks it's a Blowfish!

Joephus
16-01-2005, 14:23
Putting the love back into carp care.

Dell_Boy
17-01-2005, 11:34
When I said " the only time you'll see it again is in a mirror"

Thats not what I meant!!!

DeanOr
17-01-2005, 14:46
When Ian heard to catch carp you need to get into their minds it wasnt meant literally http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/grin.gif

ChrisMurray
17-01-2005, 18:37
Ian demonstrates how to beat a publicity ban on any water by protecting the fish's identity.

marky_markw
18-01-2005, 14:48
Dont worry Ian, it'll never reach the teeth.

SATAN
19-01-2005, 01:39
Fcuk me look, there's a little worm !!!!!!1

Woodzzz
19-01-2005, 17:28
You could say that Ian loved carp more than his girlfriend.

JACE
19-01-2005, 20:09
" It`s about time Ian realised that holding carp like skunks, does`nt scare the camera man."

marksie3414
21-01-2005, 16:09
Sucks better than the dyson!!! http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

marksie3414
21-01-2005, 16:11
Trying to get into the 69 position was working out a bit slippery operation for Ian!!

bullasboss
22-01-2005, 18:46
when we said they fought well we meant before you get them on the mat

wolfish
22-01-2005, 21:21
Victoria Woodhouse's methods still worked!!!

Mike_H
23-01-2005, 15:10
Ian's sexaul tactics were becoming COMMON practice on the MIRROR carp and quite frankly he was getting bored, so he has now decided to move into bondage and go for LEATHERS now. http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Jimmy6bellies
23-01-2005, 17:56
The humble maggot....


...a killer winter bait!

Jimmy6bellies
23-01-2005, 17:59
The new RMC growth programme included some rather unothodox high protein paste!


http://www.rmcangling.co.uk/forum/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

pennshauler
23-01-2005, 18:37
ian takes aim!

MatDorney
24-01-2005, 10:36
Ian wasnt agile enough to get in for the reach around!!

teegee
24-01-2005, 13:45
Dam, now the wife knows what I mean when I tell her I go fishing because it satisfies me so much!

stomp
24-01-2005, 22:30
SUCKcess at last for Ian!

Gristy
27-01-2005, 20:44
The ramifications of ians lost contact lenses were a sight to behold

Gristy
27-01-2005, 21:00
Having conquered the apple pie the intrepid Mr welsh decides to pioneer an idea with a bit more bite

Jim
28-01-2005, 15:03
After fishing at a competitors venue, Ian decided to take a sample home with him, not relising some one was taking his picture, he quickley tried to stuff the carp into his very tight jeans pocket.

Billyo
02-02-2005, 17:39
The winner of the January 2005 Caption Contest is Joephus with "So carp really are easier down south."

Please PM with to arrange your prize.

Bill.