View Full Version : Caption Contest 4
Kryston's new advert on the multiple uses of bogey.
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"What's everyone laughing at?"
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'...These nectar-flavoured boilies are good, I only left a few in my pocket before I fell asleep...' Clive
'Now that's what you call a f*rt!'/images/forum//icons/blush.gifClive
When I said I caught measels I didn't mean the Carp mate. But put the picture in anyway.
Tony
cornishbob1
26-08-2001, 08:40
I'm gonna wrap that easy stick round bob2s neck !! PRACTICE, PRACTICE,PRACTICE MY ARSE!!!!!
rhornegold
26-08-2001, 09:31
Hope they dont reach any exposed parts!!!!
Craig_Banks
26-08-2001, 10:45
"its cheaper than the latest cammo gear.........can you still see me?"
PeterHudd
26-08-2001, 14:08
"If i keep going do you think i will disguise my self as a gravel bar????"
Peter Hudd
This person was just too eager to get bait sponcership.
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Hiding the catering size bag of Maltesers in the sleeping bag was a daft idea.
daytimedave
26-08-2001, 15:16
d`you think hes finished baiting up now?
Johnny_Carp
26-08-2001, 17:59
..."ive got more skidmarks than brands hatch!!"....
Rivercarper
26-08-2001, 20:04
To bait up you just walk out to where your fishing and push the release button and they all fall off.They call it fishing on the drop off.
Rivercarper
26-08-2001, 20:06
I told you you would get piles sitting on that wet unhooking mate
dam, thats blown my 'secret' bait!
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Heellllp...... Hit that run for me....... I sat on a wasps nest and can't move.
Tony
Hi.... my name is Baitman..... where the F... did robin get to?
Tony
"The new sticky balls range of bait, exclusive from the Carp Company"
Carp companies new instant attractor bait booster really does work!
The man-eating Sugar Puffs were now attacking their second victim.
Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
rhornegold
27-08-2001, 07:46
If the Portaloo was closer , this would not have happened.
rhornegold
27-08-2001, 07:51
Doctor , Doctor,..with this new Wacky Backy I seem to have brown lumps growing all over me.
MikeLyddon053698
27-08-2001, 10:55
"poop poop indeed" said Toad, "I'm going to sell my motorcar and take up fishing, this is much more fun"
"Oh no, not another flash in the pan interest again" replied Ratty and Mole together.
daytimedave
27-08-2001, 20:35
blistering barnicles!!..........these fags are stong!
Meet the new innovation........ It's.... wait for it...... PVA MAN.... spod him out and there you have it.
Tony
Why you laughing..... I never talk Boll**ks
Tony
The experiment to cross a boilie with a human was a complete success..........Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
benzonar
28-08-2001, 09:02
Opening his Maltesers with one hand was proving taxing.
benzonar
28-08-2001, 09:05
Whaddya mean I look like the footballer Stuart Macall.
Bloody high tech baits!! You never had this trouble with tuttis!!
Has anyone got a spare Remington "Fuzzaway" I could borrow??????????
"Canesten Once" alleviates embarrassing angling moments!!!!!
The micro piranas were a nuisance when wading.
Cheapskate angler
Crispy, that wins it, VERY,VERY funny!
"I'm not falling for that, there's no bee hives round here mate!"
Cheapskate angler
The carp angler plant has come into bud at last.
Cheapskate angler
benzonar
28-08-2001, 15:30
"Has anyone seen my superglue, I could have sworn it was in my pocket last night"
benzonar
28-08-2001, 15:36
Fetishes Of The World. No 135.
"The Boilie Bandit"
benzonar
28-08-2001, 15:37
" I told you I always look like s**t in the morning"
<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by scorpio on 29/08/01 11:35 PM (server time).</FONT></P>
These baits were obviously intended to catch the angler and not the fish.
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"ok so wot u looking at ?,have i spilt something down me??"
"wot u laffin at ?my boots aint that bad"
"doc i told u ive got a problem with my sticky balls"
keepin it real<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by carpio on 28/08/01 09:31 PM (server time).</FONT></P>
Correct bait application was not one of his strong points...........Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
An afternoon's game of scatch got out of hand.!!
Roger was so pleased that he wore his trousers whilst taking the short cut.!!
The problem of finding a hookbait in the dark was soon solved.!!
The new velcro boilies proved to be a great success!
Maltesers, the lighter way to bag up!!
Yogi bear was sure he'd found the Yellowstone Honey Thief at last..........
[b]Smarts
Bloody hell, waded through 3 weedbeds, 3ft of silt and it was a 1lb snottie!
Yappi
CarponlineEditor
29-08-2001, 17:04
'Carp Company baits help you to ooze confidence'
I asked you to roll me some bait not bloomin roll in it you dingo.
Tony
I have constipation but couldn't find where to put the erupters during the night.
Tony
The game of velcro marbles got a little out of hand.......Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
After going fishing too much the missus was after his balls so he camoflarged himself........Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
His new method of airdrying baits was a complete success.......Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
Having just photographed another fish he knew they were on his bait!
The new 'particle camo' meant baiting up was a doddle mid session.....
[b]Smarts
John couldnÂ’t afford the new "Real Tree" camo wear, so he made some himself
You think this is good? The fun really starts when you wear these trousers inside out!!!!
Dissapointingly......the mossie-repellant was crap.....
[b]Smarts
I must stop fishing near the sizewell reactor!
Dirty sod, even turns his incontinence trousers inside out to save washing them too often!
daytimedave
30-08-2001, 20:50
caught any thing mate?.......................
`you taking the p*ss........................
His ambition of turning himself into a conker tree was almost a reality!.............Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
His mates over the other side of the lake had perfected the ways of using a throwing stick with pin-point accuracy!............Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
Do you think I shuld have brought the rods n reels with me.
After too much straining in the woods he developed a bad case of the Farmer Giles...............
Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
Johnny_Carp
01-09-2001, 00:22
Daytimedaves last post must win!!! hOhOhO, JC
The Profile proved useless during the recent spate of explosions at the nearby sewage works.
cornishbob1
01-09-2001, 07:51
Field testing of the new Nash bog roll proved to be problematical !!!
busbiter
01-09-2001, 23:02
"Stella - guaranteed to make you look like a complete prat the morning after a can or 8!"
Cheers, stuart
busbiter
01-09-2001, 23:04
"This mans got balls!"
Cheers, stuart
And so the unwary angler volunteered for the fly-on-the-wall documentary showing all aspects of the sport... warts and all! Clive
wheres all my bait gone?
sam
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the catfish he had just had managed to spew up all of his freebies.
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CarpManic
02-09-2001, 17:55
Beep Beep Beep...!
Oh damn, i always get caught playin with my balls when i get a run!
CM
daytimedave
02-09-2001, 19:06
big issue,big issue...................??????
The Dr said these piles would be gone by the end of the week "Now look at um"
You know when youv'e been tangoed
gota runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Bloody snails i was only in the water for 5 mins placing my baits
You know when youv'e been tangoed
gota runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
CliveOwden
02-09-2001, 21:49
Is this Mr Vasectomy ?
Showing his useless balls
Even Spock thought the way this man was attacked by the Klingons was not logical.............Baz/images/forum//icons/smile.gif
CarponlineEditor
03-09-2001, 10:27
Yes, you caught Andy on one of his bad hair days.
Andy, lol
With the ugly beast safely on the unhooking mat, it was clear to see the bait was highly digestible !!!!
Miller.
MikeLyddon053698
03-09-2001, 13:08
Now you know why Rivercarper hides behind a big beard.
LOL
Mike.
As the angler walked into the lake, it soon became apparent that the carp had something else on their minds.
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The Lilliputians angrily attacked Gulliver when he lit up their entire supply of tobacco in a single roll up
Cheapskate angler
"Can someone stop that noddy on the far bank from baiting up with his throwing stick, if one more bait hits me i'm going to sort him out!!"
...Andy never quite mastered the art of opening those tricky packs of Maltesers....
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If the S**t sticks.........
Smarts Cowboy Carper
Johnny_Carp
06-09-2001, 16:16
His afternoon game of pocket billiards got out of hand....
benzonar
06-09-2001, 17:00
Andy swore never to use the Yately loo at night again without a flashlight.
the kids loved playing with the boilies.
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Next time you bend over and fart mate, face the other way.
benzonar
07-09-2001, 14:06
His attempt at acquiring wasp grubs had proved to be somewhat problematic!
daytimedave
07-09-2001, 19:43
eeerrrrr,,,,youu dirty old man
......mmmnnnnaaarrrr
...(to be said in a steptoe accent)!!!!!
CarponlineEditor
08-09-2001, 11:35
Errrrr What did that bloke mean? Who is Richard 'Briars'??
I thought you was skint? Looks like you are rolling in it mate!
Tony
My word the rabbits were busy last night.
Tony
'When they told me to roll my own bait I thought They said roll it it'
Now I swim out to my marker, the PVA glue melts, and I have loads of bait on the money! Genius I am!
Does my bum look big in this?
That new ant powder is rubbish.
u kinky swine..glrrrrrrrrrrr
"Help me my Kevin Nash beaded bed chair mat has just exploded!!"
help me my kevin cash calostomy bag has exploded..
ha ha ha soz couldnt resist mark
Mon Holid was currently in good supply.
Bovis
Hooded & 100% English Priest
Johnny_Carp
14-09-2001, 18:37
what was he doing with those dairylee flavour boilies around his groianal area???...........Carp will do anything for Dairylee!!!
Johnny_Carp
14-09-2001, 18:39
THIS IS A SERIOUS QUESTION....how did he get all those boilies on his trousers?????/
Johnny_Carp
15-09-2001, 18:57
"This baiting strategy has just GOT TO work!!.........all these boilies, and a single maggot in the middle!!!"
oh well at least i kept my bots clean
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LOL!! LOL!! LOL!! This has got to be the winner!!
Run everybody it's the bogey man
/images/forum//icons/cool.gif /images/forum//icons/cool.gif
paulh
Andy Pandy trousers.....
Tony
HAY what os'ma bin lad'in looks like Sheit to me.
You know when youv'e been tangoed
gota runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Do What?
Bovis
Hooded & 100% English Priest
being a full time carp angler, he was forced to have sex with his incontinent teddy bear!
bovis what i was doing is to use osma bin ladan's name by changing some letters .................................................. ... WHAT has ma bin lay/din looks like sheeeeeeite to me./images/forum//icons/smile.gif.......hope that helps
You know when youv'e been tangoed
gota runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
HAY look at me im a POP/up TART
You know when youv'e been tangoed
gota runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
...despite John's obvious delight with his new baitrunners I declined the offer of an old pair of swingers............
<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by Beekay on 20/09/01 03:55 PM (server time).</FONT></P>
oohhhhh there's klingons on the starboard bow starboard bow starboard bow klingons on the staboard bow starboard starboard bow,thats life jim, life jim,life jim,life jim.thats life jim but not as we know it but knot as we know it jim EVERYBODY ooooOOOHHHHHHH THERE'S KLINGONS ON THE STARBOARD BOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know when youv'e been tangoed
gota runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Mikefromsunbury
21-09-2001, 09:13
Look everybody,When i rub my old fella like this,i come out in all these spots!.(check out his left hand and the smile on his face)
these new trousers are the bees knees, literally!
beast
Dangling a maggot over a bed of boilies was a sure-fire way of getting a hit..............
god my hives are coming out again.
beast
Billy's mum was right.......sitting in the cold all day, did give you piles...........
Tommy, knew he had no chance pulling down the pub tonight.
Billy laughed at the accusation of 'stealing seeds for his new rockery'....
Competition for food in the lake was high.............he was in the margins when the snails attacked.
"the trouble with tribbles is they get everywhere"
The new Human Ultrabite hits the shops.
As much as he pleaded he hadn't been there long..........the fungus on his trousers told otherwise..................
"my trousers?no I havn't got flu, it was bream.....all I caught last night were bl**dy snotties.
"If you think my trousers look bad, you should see my skiddies"
"No mate, I haven't been anywhere near your method mix - honest."
He said he wasn't scared.............but the proof was there for all to see......
One day I will get the hang of that throwing stick
As with all these new fangled carp baits....Andy found that they were designed to catch the angler more than the fish....
Wrayburys 'King Fungi' turns out to be a bloke!
"then mate, all you do is tie yourself to a 4 oz leger and jump in...no 60lb carp could refuse.."
Johnny_Carp
25-10-2001, 18:57
Stans passion for pant-sniffing came to a very abrupt end, when he encountered this fella on his travels!.....
Fed up with plugging the M-Tech in Big Carp, Rob was now sponsoring people to wear the stuff as well as fish with it.
Miller.
There's no denying it......that guys got balls!!
Miller.
Its about time I went home for a wash
After three day's and three nights of haulin I finally fell asleep, can any one tell me why my bum hurts?
Fungus the bogeyman goes fishing.
I think it`s time to cut down on the BEEtaine??????????.
The Seagulls on this lake were eating far too many boilies.
All Yateley anglers look like this!
Not quite what Mainline intended when they insisted on corporate clothing for their sponsored anglers!!
...bait rolling taken that little bit too far....
MARK182693
03-11-2001, 21:28
pepple dash this takes the mick .o why did i have a curry
It's amazing how versitile this velcro is.
or
Trouble with piles!!!................not me.
andy_w21uk
05-11-2001, 17:25
" OH BEE Jesus !!!!!! i think it's deffinatly time i got a new pair of fishing trousers" !!!!!!!!!!!
andy
MARK182693
05-11-2001, 20:59
Who said I haven't the balls for fishing?
"I've been waiting here so long for a winner to be announced for this competition that i've sprouted mushrooms"
Neva mind being on the bank n being camouflaged, how bout being in the lake?!?!? The new 'REAL WEED' with added baits!!
Alex
He thought that 'RealTree' camouflage included fungus.......
Billy's mates pointed out that the reason his 'RealTree' trousers were so cheap was the fact that they were not 'authentic'.....
With the 'Advantage' range of camouflage wear being so extortionately overpriced.....anglers soon came up with their own versions.....
benzonar
19-11-2001, 17:09
His determination not to wash his lucky trousers until he'd caught a fish, was now making him unpopular.
iv,e had these trousers on so long,waiting for the comp to be judged that there trying to walk away from me!lol.
beast
Jackson's desire to catch two tone led to bigger baits...
robocarp
26-11-2001, 03:46
I truly am the BEES KNEES !!!!!!
robocarp
26-11-2001, 03:52
A secret trial of the new Velcro Boilly Wear
craftyangler
02-12-2001, 03:48
All I did was walk round see, and asked about the going baits and swims, stuff like that, you know ?.
And all they gave me was a load of old B******s.
I can do this really good party trick...........
" all i remember is going down to the offy and getting two crates of stella and a bottle of whiskey "
"so thats what you B******S used my super glue for"
Johnny was caught red handed....having a W**K, the evidence on his shoes was clear for all to see.
"who's silly F*****G idea was it to go stalking"
Johnny_Carp
07-12-2001, 12:34
Thats the last time i take her fishing with me!!!
floppysid
09-12-2001, 08:49
your not using 8ball are you
CarponlineEditor
12-12-2001, 11:12
...and all because, the lady likes furry balls...
BasildonCarper
14-12-2001, 07:16
bait dips for dummies!
Nashy's new wonder product demonstration...
"dont need hooks anymore gentlemen..my new wonder baits stick like glue to any carp that picks em up..just fire em out like this with the catty....oops.. looks like these dont work as planned either"
WHATS A POLYORCHID THEN??
daytimedave
14-12-2001, 21:34
"la-da ad dad da dad da--i was gonna pult some boilies out ,but then i got high,i was gonna tidy me bivvy,but then i got high,la-dad dad da....etc etc
Nash launches new "extra strong" boilie caddy?
Kevin Cash's new colostomy bag goes drastically wrong !
G
"Ere, Welchy, can I go home for christmas yet, the missus is gonna kill me, you've had me sitting here for months now and you still haven't made your mind up who's bl**dy won, and I'm gettig piles!"
Crispy you beat me to it! LOL Got to be the winner!
Snails campaign against carp imports 'cause they know as well as us what the French National dish is. Damn lucky it wasn't the frogs legs season!!!!
After another dubious encounter Jim's velcro trousers didn't quite manage to secure all the sheep's behind...
BasildonCarper
02-01-2002, 13:52
thats one way to air dry
BasildonCarper
02-01-2002, 13:55
bloody down filled sleeping bag!
BasildonCarper
02-01-2002, 13:57
yeah......but i thought realfur was all the rage
MikeLyddon053698
02-01-2002, 20:00
Have you seen the latest 'realtree', it even has acorns all over it. /images/forum/icons/laugh.gif
daytimedave
02-01-2002, 21:39
200....................
I know I told you I'm the "bees knees", but now do you believe me?
rhornegold
04-01-2002, 15:04
Wait until I've got a thousand of these things creeping up on me and we can move to the next picture.
Takedown
08-01-2002, 17:08
"So let me make sure I've got this right. I'm called a 'Bait Bloke', I swim out to the snag and just drop my trousers and your rig and swim back?!?!"
Fred had thought it was a joke when other anglers mentioned that the Split Lake cats suffered with fur balls.......
Excellent BOO...... I laughed for 5 minutes with that one... has to be a winner for sure.
it could be if we ever get the results!!!!!!!!!!!lol
beast
I agree, Tony.....very funny. Mind, I can't remember the original captions from way back in 1980 something when the competition started../images/forum/icons/wink.gif.
Shall we all have our own vote to help Ian out? Is it possible to set up a poll with names?
I was working on this last night, which was why the forum went down for five minutes... hope to have it sorted very shortly....
Bill.
MikeLyddon053698
09-01-2002, 22:35
Don't start it just yet, me and Smarts are going to send in an absolute cracker of a picture to use, should hopefully be sending it in tomorrow evening.
<A href="http://www.kennetweb.co.uk" target="_blank">
/images/kennetweb.gif
</A>
Temporary fix until I sort it once and for all...! Details in an Email Ian.
Bill.
can't it just be locked and a winner choosen?
Then when its all sorted a new one put on.
BasildonCarper
11-01-2002, 13:33
ill get the b*****d that told me jam was a mozzie repellent!
rhornegold
17-01-2002, 08:08
Doc Ian,
This rash is no better and I've had it for Months, is it a computer Bug.
I have been here so long now I am decomposing
ILL give them B****Y Bait Boat ban watch me swim out and drop my load./images/forum/icons/smile.gif
daytimedave
27-01-2002, 18:07
donald.....wheres you trewsours?
" Kevin had never seen static like that before "
"Anyone fancy a pint?"
Crispy
BrentwoodAngling
02-02-2002, 12:48
whens dis comp gonna finish!?!?!?!
When i find the rabbit who did this!!!!!!
Pagie
After realising the bait he had been told to use by a fellow carper was nothing less than S**T Bob decided revenge would be swift and by means of the new Nashy 150 yard deep filled catapault, with extra close grouping
I've been sitting here so bl@£**y long now my piles have had enough and are moving out.
He sat and pondered the advice given to him by the chinese man about Gremlins and water.
Carpy_Dean
04-02-2002, 21:50
'A night in a small tent with a dirty mag and a pack of boilies'
Dean
kestrelg
09-02-2002, 08:45
latest fox all weather suit blamed for strange side effects
A night spend in a Nash Bivvy.
Look, there's as many of these on my legs as threads on this post...
I stick one on to celebrate every month this competition runs for - hope Ive got room!
Who said i have'nt got the balls to fish this place!!!!
Pagie
LOUGHNANE
12-02-2002, 22:44
I GOT BROWN SPOT!!!
After just one night on the complex - Kevin started noticing profound changes to his physical well being.........
Has anyone else ever blanked this long?
Jon was having problems with the new Kryston Bogie!
Cooperman
13-02-2002, 14:02
The Jackass "BEEkini" that went wrong!
Cooperman.
I hope thats pollen they're droppin on your shoes - bees with moustaches.....hmmmmmmm
NEWSFALSH
RMC angling have just been honoured with an entry in the next guiness book of records for the longest running competition on-line, ever!
Noris McGwerter commented "Mr Welch must be very dedicated, because dedication is what you need"
matt060129
15-02-2002, 18:24
these new joggers from nutrabaits really are the boillix
I saw one move! I saw one move!!!!!!!!!!!! (15/02/02!!!!)
Too much carp fishing and poor hygiene - those testicular worts were spreading like wildfire!!/images/forum/icons/smile.gif
Klewless
after only one session with the new "toxic bedger" skin deformities and puss balls were evident
G
He never had any idea sheep ticks could get so bad - after all - all he wanted was some of that good sheepskin luvin!!!!!
Klewless
matt060129
20-02-2002, 10:58
dave had always had trouble glueing his hookbaits on.
This new velcro bivvy gear really is the 'bee's knees'!!
blimey only put a small amount of solars creepy crawlie in me boilies
ment to read who needs a bait boat for the margains a
Duddyrex
27-02-2002, 19:20
I still can't find my boilie with the baiting needle in it
No way was Billy going to let a minor outbreak of Foot & Mouth effect his fishing...........
The wifes still got the top to do !
OK which smart [censored] covered my strides with honey?
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